sexta-feira, abril 07, 2006

100 great things about being HIV+

Yolanda says!
Humor and HIV

100 great things about being HIV+

1.You truly don't care who Elton John and George Michael are sleeping with as long as you get to see the pictures.
2. You understand the difference between all of the 258 possible combination therapies even though you flunked algebra.
3. You can call anyone "honey" including your doctor.
4. You know someone who definitely was in the emergency room with Elizabeth Taylor during her latest operation.
5. You understand the immense importance of good lighting.
6. You can be at a crowded disco the size of two football fields and still spot a kapose.
7.You can tell a nurse you love her outfit, and truly mean it.
8. You can explain the nuances between sickness, malady and disease.
9. You really have "been there, done that".
10. Your HIV- friends will tell you everything you want to know about their current intestinal problems. And that means everything.
11. You get to say "fabulous drug, darling!" legally.
12. You can have naked pictures of people you don't know in your home.
13. You can have naked people you don't know in your home.
14. You know how to handle the telephone like a Stradivarius.
15. You understand why the Good Lord invented Wet Ones.
16. You understand that the Good Lord did not intend them for babies only.
17. You know how to get back at just about everyone. And have.
18. You know that the most important part of a hospital is the catering staff.
19. You only wear polyester when you mean to.
20. You can smile to let someone know you can't stand them.
21. You can freeze a syringe from 20 feet away.
22. You're good pals with women other people can't stand.
23. You've always got an opinion.
24. You've read the book, seen the movie, done the musical and can’t wait to write the critique.
25. You know how to dress strategically.
26. Your virus has an amusing female name.
27. You're the only one at your high school reunion who looks just as thin as you did in high school.
28. You've got at least one framed picture of a pet.
29. If your mattress could talk, it would ask for a towel.
30. You know that sex complicates things. And so?
31. You know that being called "thin" isn't actually an insult.
32. You know that being called “skinny” is.
33. Nobody tells you what to do in bed...unless you tell them what to tell you.
34. You have a pill that matches every one pictured in the Nurse’s Drug Handbook.
35. You have at least one AIDS movie on video.
36. You're not embarrassed to sing in a piano bar.
37. You're embarrassed by people who sing in piano bars.
38. You never hold a grudge for longer than a minute or two.
39. You know how to make an entrance.
40. You know when to make an exit.
41. You worry about people you don't even know - like Greg Louganis.
42. You choose the most fabulous greeting cards.
43. You know how to program your VCR over the telephone.
44. You've got sunscreen at every conceivable SPF level.
45. You have a cologne display worthy of Neiman Marcus.
46. You understand - viscerally - Joan Crawford.
47. Some of your best friends are your ex-lovers. And vice-a-versa.
48. You know when to act sick.
49. You know what to do for a hangover.
50. Yes, you do have a condom. And the real question behind that is ...?

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